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LIKE if you remember what it was like to take a ton of pictures only to wait a week to find out they were useless. 
Toaster Settings: 1) I do nothing. 2) I do nothing. 3) I SET THE BREAD ON FIRE!
Nobody should regret anything that made them smile.
If there are two lanes, the left one is the fast lane. If you are being passed on the right, you are a jerk.
I just spelled something so badly that my autocorrect had to LOL.
..... the next event on the Olympics calender is the unsynchronized FLAG & COUNTRY competition ...
Life needs to give out Vodka now, enough lemons collected
California announced that Marijuana Dispensaries will be closing! Do they realize the dramatic impact this will have on the economy. Sales of Funyons, 7-11 Burritos, Visine, and all other junk food are going to plummet!!!
Got a little too much Sun today! I knew I should have closed the blinds!
A person automatically becomes ten times more attractive when you find out they like you!!!
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.....
FYI - Double check whats in the cup on the nightstand before waking up and taking a big drink.... Nothing like watered down crown and coke first thing in the morning...
A couple who had been together for 25yrs and raised 10 children was asked what the secret to staying together was. The wife replied ''Many years ago we made an agreement that the first one to leave has to take all the children with them!!!''
My other palindrome is a kayak.................................... my new bumpersticker
Somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to gain friends,, and just started enjoying reading and writing posts..
Imagine if you found a dresser made by Jesus during his "carpenter" days. The guys on Antique Roadshow would lose their minds.
The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
It's not you.. It's me. And my inability to tolerate you any longer.
With my grandkids, I just assume that any word they use that I don't understand is a Pokemon creature.
I often ask myself "What's wrong with me?" and the answer is ALWAYS "You can't drink at work"
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