Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If I could fly, I'd probably still just sit around and complain alot.

   Wearing workout clothes like I'm about to do something other than eat cereal.

   I just spelled something so badly that autocorrect shot milk out of it's nose.

   Tough guys who were their sunglasses on the back of heir heads are just covering up their gay eyes that check out other guys dongs behind them.

   Team Edward? Team Jacob? WRONG! It was Team Rupert.

   Sometimes I'll just go through the internet "liking" sh*t and I don't always really mean it.

   Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.

   What's black and fills out welfare forms?? A pen, you jerk.

   We become what we most hate. So I'll apologize now for eventually playing for the Cowboys

   Both George Zimmermans parents are hispan!c but he's wh!te, Obama's mother is wh!te but he's bl@ck-------Bl@ck people

   If you surround yourself with people who are full of drama, don't b*tch if a sh*tstorm is always blowing through your life.

   Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone, and I'm the a§§høle for tripping him??

   If a republican is elected president, then America will have officially dispelled the rumor that once you go black, you never go back.

   What if when we die the light we see at the end of the tunnel is just us being pushed out of another V@gina!!!

   Sex is like Math, You subtract the clothes, Add a Bed, Divide the legs, and hope you don't Multiply!!!

   man, I gotta stop insulting people.. anyway, I hope your having a good day and go F**k yourself..

   Why a Beer is better than a woman! 1.A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another! 2. Pour your beer right and you always get good head! 3. You always know when youre the first to pop a beer! 4.You can have several beers in a night and not feel guilty

   A life?! Where can I download one of those?

   Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2011: he died of hunger.

   The most annoying sound = When a fly comes into your house and gets stuck in between the window and the blinds.