Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Looks like Jerry Sandusky is still screwing kids(players) at Penn State even after he's gone!

   There are countless ways of attaining greatness, but any road to reaching one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity."

   I think interrogations of mass murderers, serial killers and terrorists should be broadcasted live on tv.

   The global gender ratio is 60:40. So there are millions of women who cant find a man. Remember that next time we ask you to make a sandwich.

   They say a woman's work is never done. Maybe that's why they get paid less.

   ''If all Men are created equal, where's the rest of your Pen!s?!!!

   A person who really appreciates you will always walk with you

   A spider crawled across my leg while I was driving and of course he survived the crash.

   All a woman wants is a strong, confident, capable man who will wear whichever shirt she tells him to.

   No party would be complete without that creepy guy sitting in the corner.

   I only go to strip clubs to beg the strippers to release and feed the goldfish in their heels.

   You know what I like most about people? Pets.


   Can officially confirm that the way to a man's heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.

   The easiest way to confuse a woman is to give her a choice.

   the last two status belongs to a Dominican Beauty Amelia :)

   I don't want to brag, but lately I've been getting A LOT of attention from a Nigerian prince!

   My boss isn't paying me enough to have to work this hard at wasting time.

   Things you need to know about me: 1- I'm lazy 2- hmm, one is enough

   Listen, gorgeous... I love you so much I would suck out the venom if a poisonous snake bit you on the ass. But, I'm sorry, I won't swallow.

   I like my women like I like my coffee. A little bit gross and I wouldn't recommend them to my friend for fear of judgement.