Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   They are making us take down American Flags off Bridges, Fire Trucks all across America! Watch, The National Christmas Tree is next, because it offends some people! Take back our Country before it's too Late!

   I have one nerve left! And you're dry humping it!....Go Away!!!

   Roses are Red! The Sun is Gold!....Now get on your knee's and do as you're told!!!

   "I'm shocked that several young, rich athletes have been arrested recently! " said, no one ever...

   Reorganized my kitchen and installed new pantry liners. It feels so fresh now!

   Bikinis should have an age limit and a weight limit.

   Rest areas are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet.

   The villian in the new batman movie is named ''Bain''........I know that Obama has something to do with this!!!

   Dear ex, remember those I love you more fights?? I won..

   How I took scantron tests in highshool: " well... I Havnt chose 'C' in a while."

   Life is ironic. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes..

   There are almost 7 billion people in the world, and you are the dumbest one. That is impressive.

   Dear paranoid ppl who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one, what's your plan?

   The Devil gave me my soul back, something about "Tasting like Vodka" Whatever dude

   As my car slowly filled with water, the last thing I would hear was the calm measured voice of my GPS, "Recalculating route."

   Ladies, please don't forget, safe sex is your responsibility

   Thankyou for calling Comcast America's #1 Cable Co. My name is Habib Akmed Musaffa Akmed Habib, How may I mis-understand you today?!!!

   if your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

   for my next magic trick i'll need a condom and a volunteer,.

   WANTED: A meaningful overnight relationship.