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If its Friday night and she lifts up her skirt and her panties say Saturday. She is staying the night. 
I sent my wife to Home Depot to buy a set of knee pads for me. Hey, fair is fair.
I refuse to jump on the bandwagon and talk about Anderson's Pooper. I mean Cooper.
50 Shades of Grey..Girls can't wait to read it and Guys can't wait for the movie!
God created the Orgasam so women could whine when they're happy too
I was dating a Siamese twin but she caught me screwin her sister behind her back
My house would be a lot more vacant if I could communicate in Roach & Spider language.
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage lightbulbs
I have a feeling Thursday the 5th of July is not going to be a very produtive day at work.
I'm convinced these mosquitoes are on bath salts.....
what's an ideal weight for a mother in law? 3 pounds including the urn.
i went on a pleasure trip this morning. I took my mother in law back to the airport.
what do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand.
what looks good on a mother in law? a doberman.
While you are enjoying your BBQ's, cookouts, and family get togethers! Please remember what this Independence Day truly represents! Happy Birthday America! Still the greatest Country in the World!!
I'm afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
I won a math-debate
My american friends!! While you are enjoying your BBQ's, cookouts, and family get togethers! Please remember what this Independence Day truly represents! Today Will Smith AND Jeff Goldblum saved the population of earth from alien oppression by uploading a
I don't care what time it is!!! Grilling without a BEER is like going to church and not PRAYING.
Redneck word of the day; Sapphire, Cletus accidentally sapphire to Bubbas trailer with a bottle rockrt
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