Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If its Friday night and she lifts up her skirt and her panties say Saturday. She is staying the night.
←Rate | 07-03-2012 22:49 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sent my wife to Home Depot to buy a set of knee pads for me. Hey, fair is fair.
←Rate | 07-03-2012 22:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I refuse to jump on the bandwagon and talk about Anderson's Pooper. I mean Cooper.
←Rate | 07-03-2012 23:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 50 Shades of Grey..Girls can't wait to read it and Guys can't wait for the movie!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 00:05 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon God created the Orgasam so women could whine when they're happy too
←Rate | 07-04-2012 00:29 by CaptJJack Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was dating a Siamese twin but she caught me screwin her sister behind her back
←Rate | 07-04-2012 00:48 by CaptJJack Comments (0)  


   messageicon My house would be a lot more vacant if I could communicate in Roach & Spider language.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 01:39 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage lightbulbs
←Rate | 07-04-2012 06:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a feeling Thursday the 5th of July is not going to be a very produtive day at work.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 07:33 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced these mosquitoes are on bath salts.....
←Rate | 07-04-2012 07:51 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon what's an ideal weight for a mother in law? 3 pounds including the urn.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i went on a pleasure trip this morning. I took my mother in law back to the airport.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what looks good on a mother in law? a doberman.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon While you are enjoying your BBQ's, cookouts, and family get togethers! Please remember what this Independence Day truly represents! Happy Birthday America! Still the greatest Country in the World!!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:22 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (2)  


   messageicon I'm afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won a math-debate
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My american friends!! While you are enjoying your BBQ's, cookouts, and family get togethers! Please remember what this Independence Day truly represents! Today Will Smith AND Jeff Goldblum saved the population of earth from alien oppression by uploading a
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:51 by MrJasonBubbaganoosh Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care what time it is!!! Grilling without a BEER is like going to church and not PRAYING.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 09:02 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Redneck word of the day; Sapphire, Cletus accidentally sapphire to Bubbas trailer with a bottle rockrt
←Rate | 07-04-2012 09:04 by Rokkn Comments (0)  



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