Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Universal truth: sun rises in the East Fact: sun neither rises nor sets, the Earth rotates... Moral: Education kills our Common Sense

   Let us all take a moment, and be thankful that spiders can't fly.

   Then God said, “Let there be Internet drama”; and there was Internet drama. And God saw that it was good.

   Love may be blind, but It doesn't have to be stupid.

   I don't know why you're here, but I'm just here to have fun.

   Hey, just came over to extend a big warm welcome to nobody caresville...population: me

   When is a man the smartest? When he's having sex; Why? Because he's plugged into the know it all machine.

   s/o to the pig that died to make this bacon I'm eating. You, sir, are delicious. Enjoy the afterlife, you've earned it.

   Hey, guess what! No one cares. Stew in your own sh*tty mess that you made for yourself. And also have a nice day.

   Why do men act so surprised when they see a stripper jump out of a cake? Do they think someone got them a 4 feet cake to eat? Idiots.

   My Facebook persona did not sleep well last night.

   When I get old, I want to be sent off on an iceberg to die. Mostly because good luck finding an iceberg in 50 years.

   She could have a Grammy, and I would still treat her like a Nominee.

   I want a woman that makes my d*ck hard. Not my life.

   I think I'm going to procrastinate tomorrow......but I haven't decided.

   Never grossly overestimate my need for your approval.

   I don't think I'm better than you. I never think about you.

   I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I'm not even married.

   Sometimes I ask her a question when I already have the info just to see if she lies. Then she shows why I can't trust her.

   I'm not sure I understand What The Hell you're talking about....But.....you're showing cleavage, so I will listen.