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single moms do not get to celebrate fathers day, go grab your 50 Shades book and zip it 
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
I need to do something reproductive today. Happy Father's Day
This girl wrote on her status; "I Desperately Need A Boyfriend!" So I commented, “No you need some water coz you sound thirsty!” And now I am deleted.
My mom always told me not to do drug or talk to strangers, so I decided to do strangers and talk to drugs.
How much cocaine do I give a baby to make it stop crying? (Don't judge, its not my baby,
Rodney King has been found dead in pool - Early reports say that the LA police are not suspects in his death.
Rodney King was found dead in a swimming pool. Goes to show you kids.....It's hard to snort coke when your underwater.
A cop texted me to pull over.
Cant we all just get along- Rodney King
Rob Schneider looks like the type of guy that tries to jerk off on his own face.
happy father's day to all my daddy's... no homo though
I was just orally serviced in a rather splendid manner by an enthusiastic young lady and I'm feeling quite chipper about it indeed.
A friend told me he's jokes come from a dark place. So I locked him in my basement for a week. It was mostly crying, no jokes. He lied.
I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over.
"Can we all get along? Can we get along?" ...... Rodney King who were you talking to at the bottom of that pool.....or were you just doing a Bath Salt Day....
Today my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she said I was the other guy.
Hello 1% battery, we meet again for the 5th time today.
My girlfriend is pregnant but I have never slept with her. When I asked her how come, she told me some lame story about Joseph & Mary.
Pepper spray comes in different strenths, for women who are only semi serious about getting raped.
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