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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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single moms do not get to celebrate fathers day, go grab your 50 Shades book and zip it
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06-17-2012 11:13
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Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
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06-17-2012 11:15
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I need to do something reproductive today. Happy Father's Day
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06-17-2012 11:18
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This girl wrote on her status; "I Desperately Need A Boyfriend!" So I commented, “No you need some water coz you sound thirsty!” And now I am deleted.
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06-17-2012 11:31
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My mom always told me not to do drug or talk to strangers, so I decided to do strangers and talk to drugs.
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06-17-2012 11:33
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How much cocaine do I give a baby to make it stop crying? (Don't judge, its not my baby,
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06-17-2012 11:35
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Rodney King has been found dead in pool - Early reports say that the LA police are not suspects in his death.
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06-17-2012 11:56
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Rodney King was found dead in a swimming pool. Goes to show you kids.....It's hard to snort coke when your underwater.
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06-17-2012 11:56
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A cop texted me to pull over.
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06-17-2012 11:59 by
Baddie
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Cant we all just get along- Rodney King
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06-17-2012 12:00 by
jfraze
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Rob Schneider looks like the type of guy that tries to jerk off on his own face.
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06-17-2012 12:06
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happy father's day to all my daddy's... no homo though
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06-17-2012 12:07
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I was just orally serviced in a rather splendid manner by an enthusiastic young lady and I'm feeling quite chipper about it indeed.
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06-17-2012 12:13
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A friend told me he's jokes come from a dark place. So I locked him in my basement for a week. It was mostly crying, no jokes. He lied.
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06-17-2012 12:14
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I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over.
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06-17-2012 12:17 by
Linda
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"Can we all get along? Can we get along?" ...... Rodney King who were you talking to at the bottom of that pool.....or were you just doing a Bath Salt Day....
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06-17-2012 12:23
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Today my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she said I was the other guy.
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06-17-2012 12:24
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Hello 1% battery, we meet again for the 5th time today.
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06-17-2012 12:28
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My girlfriend is pregnant but I have never slept with her. When I asked her how come, she told me some lame story about Joseph & Mary.
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06-17-2012 12:32
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Pepper spray comes in different strenths, for women who are only semi serious about getting raped.
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06-17-2012 12:45 by
jodster09464
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