Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??.....??

   Trying to be less negative but it'll never work.

   I refuse to believe that everybody was kung fu fighting. I'm sorry, but there had to be at least a couple people sitting that one out.

   "Okay, then why'd I just do that?" - Me, after punching someone who just said "Everything happens for a reason."

   I feel like people would take clinical depression more seriously if we started calling it Frown Syndrome.

   I wish I could go back in time so I could remember where I was going with this update

   The World is a Circus and The Devil is it's Ring Leader.

   If there's one thing I hate, it's self-loathing... If there's two things I hate, it's self-loathing and myself.

   I'm saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.

   For as little as $1 a day,,,, You can feed a family of 5 ducks chunks of bread down at your local pond.

   Cat's and dogs must be pretty stupid to just play with the same toy over and over as if it might do something new. Now go check your iPhones again....and again....and again.....

   My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started rollin fatter blunts...

   Cats and dogs play with the same toy over and over as if it might do something new. And, after 20 years, I still play with my wife's hooters.

   Having a dog as a friend better than having a friend as a dog ....

   Be with the one who will get your panties wet not your eyes.

   A little thumb-dance when you don't know how to reply to a text

   All successful people have had plans that failed, but none have ever failed to plan.

   Hey guys, let's start a Ninja Club. First rule of Ninja Club is....wait, where the heck did everybody go?

   My wife said I don't do enough work around the house. Its like she thinks this FB account just runs itself.........smh

   Times like these you know who your true girlfriends are