Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   just a thought...if you are a wanted criminal and your picture is all over the internet......an internet cafe is probably not the best place to hang out in.....

   Hey I just met you. and this is crazy. But theirs the Kitchen. A sandwich maybe?

   Does anybody no CPR in Miami? Lebron James is doing the International choking sign again.....

   If you tell a lie and myth so many times, people will eventually believe it so much that they will actually fight to preserve it. Government and Religious institutions are incredibly crafty at this.

   Sexual frustration should recharge phone batteries...

   Want to know who your friends are?...Tell everybody the truth and see who still hangs arounds you afterwards.

   on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades

   Ladies, if you are wearing an excessively short skirt this summer, please do everybody a favor and shave. And I am not talking about legs.

   Facebook needs a “Drama of the day” section in my news feed.

   I'm not a player, I just tuck a lot. ~Transvestites

   Politicians are like prostitutes; they get paid to pretend they like people while they are screwing them.

   V@gina is my weapon of choice.

   I'm not sure how many contact lenses I put in the same eye this morning, but I can see Saturn's rings from here.

   We're all adults here, you can say "p0rn" instead of "late night commercial"

   The silence between my status updates is the sound of my real life.

   I often wonder what tomatoes did to make the other fruits disown them and force them to live as vegetables.

   I remember when The Miss USA Pageant used to mean something! Wait, no, I'm thinking about the Pulitzer. Sorry,enjoy the boobies.

   You see a lovely group of friends at a dinner party, I see a bunch of people being forced to hold in their farts.

   Becareful, the only reason some people decide to get married is just so they can start blaming someone else for their disaster of self.

   Condoms definitely lessen the pleasure but kids kill it altogether.