Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Um, hello Police? I'd like to report a robbery. Somebody stole one of my stats. A stat It's like, a sentence you put on a website. Hello?

   I don't hate anyone enough to want to marry them.

   took you to dinner,a movie,then for drinks,get back to your house then tell me you have your period (・_・)ノ”(ノ_<)

   Never bring a knife to a gunfight. But if you bring one to a tickle fight, you will TOTALLY win.

   I just got an email from Facebook that I have 7 friends with birthdays this month. I didn't even know that I had 7 friends, or Facebook.

   its time to call clowns what they really are- smiling murderers

   $2.75 Trojans or $19.99 Huggies? You make the decision.

   16 and pregnant? What about 18 and graduated ? 22 and successful?

   I was on the treadmill for over an hour today. Tomorrow I might even turn it on.

   I ask Google all the questions I'm too embarrassed to ask other people.

   Tell your boss what you really think of him and the truth shall set you free.

   Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 45 minute flute solo.

   Shot some fish in a barrel today. More difficult than you'd think.

   Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it

   Even as we speak, the Fine Young Cannibals try to find a way to revive their careers in light of recent news stories on cannibalism.

   Watch out. It's Monday. You'll probably step in some gum.

   My first thoughts after hearing that Richard Dawson died were ... again?

   I don't care if Noones likes me I'm still going to post while drunk :)

   Here's an Idea. Instead of putting your hands on your hips to make you look thiner. Why don't you just lose weight?? Just Sayin.

   “Can someone send me airtime?”, “Can someone buy me this nice pair of shoes I saw at the mall?”, “Can someone buy me a ticket to the Trey Songz concert?”, “Can someone bring me lunch to my workplace?” - a s1ut's facebook st@tus upd@tes.