Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Judging by how The Hulk speaks, he reacted badly to grammar rays as well.

   So......Snooki announced she's having a baby boy. Phew! That was close

   If your parents are cannibals, the "got your nose" game is frighteningly serious.

   Say what you want about the south but nobody retires and moves up north

   "Obese roll models" joke was done just 2 pages ago, does no one check before they copy and paste others twitter jokes anymore? Just rude....

   I can't believe so many "singles in your area are dying to meet" me. It's probably all of the I-pads I've won.

   The effects that bath salts have been having give a whole new meaning to "Calgon · Take Me Away!"

   Other Names kicked around before settling on Great White: 1. Fabulous White 2. Hella White 3. Jumbo White 4. Big Ass White 5. Superb White

   My performance as "guy pretending to be on phone avoiding eye contact w/ aggressive homeless guy," is getting some early Oscar buzz.

   THEY'RE over THERE worrying about THEIR grammar, while YOU'RE right here concerned with YOUR punctuation. YOU'RE welcome TO share this, TOO.

   One of the advantages of being disorderly is constantly making exciting discoveries.

   The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own.

   To this day I have always wondered why Curly never farted on Moes Face .....

   I Get so Emotional when I'm peeling Onions..!

   Who else sniffs their fingers after they scratch their balls ? you have to.. its a verification "Yup thats me right there!"

   F"ing Greece is killing the Stock market.. I'm never eating a Gyro or Wearing a Speedo ever again !!!

   Wow I get alot of e-mails.... I can't believe so many "singles in my area are dying to meet" me. It's probably all of the I-pads I've won and money they are sending to my bank account from The Nigerian Chambers Of Commerce . Since Prince Howgul Abul Arhu

   That  moment when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring... and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod.

   I think I'm slipping.....too many mistakes went unmade today.

   promise, as a very white guy, to never say "Salt 'N Peppa" out loud.