Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I just found out gorgonzola is a type of cheese, not a dinosaur.

   My dr put me on antidepressants with some side effects. Ive never been happier to have diarrhea, nausea, and night sweats!

   That disappointing feeling you get when you unlock the black guy in temple run and realize he's not any faster.

   Why is "All Together" written separately, but "Separately" is written all together?

   We live in a country where obesity is on the rise and skinny jeans are becoming a fad... I fear for the future.

   Ever notice how men insult each other and don't really mean it and women compliment each other and don't really mean it?

   I wasn't that drunk" "Dude, you logged into Myspace."

   Gay Drive by: They pull up in a pink ford focus, Throw skittles and shout "TASTE THE RAINBOW BIT$H!"

   When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, "Who did this to you?"

   S.I.N.G.L.E = Sometimes It's Not Good to Love Everybody

   I may be getting older but that's no reason to grow up.

   (Person:) Do you know how many calories are in that?! (Me:) Do you know how many f**ks I don't give?

   I can't think of one nice thing to say about you....a million maybe, but not just one.

   Why, when our heart is stolen, do we insist on returning to the scene of the crime?

   Sometimes your mouth is like a zipper. By the time you realize it's open, it's already embarrassed you.

   Technologically, I'm at that dangerous age. I'm old enough to mess everything up, and not young enough to fix it.

   I like being in a long term relationship, because she knows what I like and I know what she……..won't do.

   Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot.

   If god didn't want us smoking weed, then why the f*%k did he put THC in it?

   Finally There is a solution to get rod off Timeline. Go to youtube search on How to remove timeline and click on the second link.