Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   We can only heal as a nation, once we acknowledge that Morris Day and the Time were robbed in the battle of the bands in Purple Rain.

   realizing being gay is such a happier way to live

   I was gonna comment something funny on Snooki's pregnancy...but sooo not worth it...

   Yesterday, Eugene Polly,, The inventor of the TV remote died.. I'd go to his funeral but it's WAY too far from my couch.

   HAHA !!,, I just saw a picture of Katy Perry holding a guitar and it looked just like when I make my cat pretend he's typing

   There's no place like home. Unless you're a bee, in which case home is a terrible place filled with bees

   I just ate at the Olive Garden for the first time. It felt just like being in Tuscany,, And by Tuscany,, I mean the break room of a Radio Shack

   HEY,,, I remember when they had Child Protective Services when I was a kid... And her name was Grandma... Love you Gram !

   Hey people that make socks..can you make them so they last more then 3 times worn..!

   If you think I wrote this status update in the nude, you're wrong. I'm wearing a sombrero and a candy necklace. (

   remembers when Cheddar was still a cheese

   When a job interviewer asks, "Where do you see yourself in five years?", it's a test to see if you own a time machine.

   Have you seen these gas prices?? I just filled up and it doubled the value of my car!!

   It's not really such an "Easy-Bake" oven when you're trying to cook a pot roast. This is taking *forever*.

   Life should be this simple: do whatever makes you happy until you die.

   Ebonics 101:where dey do dat at?= what type of establishment allows behavior of that sort?

   Bite marks, hickies, and scratches are love notes written in flesh.

   Ebonics 101:"Free my Ni**A"= although he did commit a crime that is against the law ..release him from jail because he is my friend

   While you were busy judging others you left your closet open and your skeletons fell out.

   Fellaz: Be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get pu$$y.