Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Instagram...now everyone thinks they're a professional photographer.

   RIP Donna Summer NOW we will never know who left the cake out in the rain

   " ROXY " the world's most sophisticated talking woman robot has a $75,000 price tag.. The silent version is $ 45,000

   Odd,, that Yahoo's search for a new CEO got only one result...

   the WNBA season starts Saturday. In related news, no one gives a $hit...

   Pretending to read your birthday card after the money has fallen out...

   I'd like a $5 dollar footlong"....."That'll be 7.05"....."Bi$ch what??

   I'm not saying blondes are dumb, but I just saw one snorting Sweet & Low because she thought it was Diet Coke.

   When I die, I want My body to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume.

   The longer I sit in a drive-thru, the more pennies I pay with.

   My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, I cry.

   You're at starbucks? Please post pictures of your coffee, I've never seen one before.

   Guys: Wow, her status is dumb. but she's cute, so I'm going to like it.

   Hitting your hip on a corner and feeling like you've been shot. 

   if I had a time machine I would stop O.J. Simpson from killing those people then nobody would know what a Kardashian is

   Click "Like" if you're for team Zimmerman. Click "Unfriend" if you're for team Martin.

   An autopsy report reviled that marijuana was found in Trayvon's blood system... Now I'm really pissed!  Zimmerman making Travon smoke weed before shooting him? That's just wrong!

   I'm confused...someone just said the disco queen died, but John Travolta appears to still be alive.

   Hey FB friend, the only time I've acknowledged you ever was thirty seconds after I accepted your friend request I scanned through your photos with negative results.

   If buying cereal for the coveted toy inside is wrong , I don't want to be right .