Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   WARNING: Reflections in this mirror may be distorted by socially constructed ideas of 'beauty'

   Can't wait until nothing happens on 12/21/2012.

   People who say, "In my humble opinion" are almost never humble.

   My will stipulates that I'm to be buried with an air pump so that I can inflate my underground enemies during any wild games of Dig Dug.

   When they say, "Hello, sir. Can you sign this petition to end guilt-tripping outside of supermarkets?" Then I'll sign.

   When giving a tour of my apartment, I just point at things and say, "I got my head stuck in that."

   NASCAR....Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

   The woman on Time Magazine's cover with her three year old, is there an App for that?

   I just learned today that bacteria is not the back door of a cafeteria.

   :You know that saying "Once you go black, you never go back"? Well I tell you, it sure does not apply to licorice.

   :Apparently all the women that can deep throat are sitting in their rooms sexting all day.

   :The guy behind me has a theory that driving his car up my azz will make the 20 cars in front of me speed up.. Hmmm,, It's just crazy enough to work...

   They should show the premiere of "Battleship" on Rihanna's forehead.

   With how slutty this generation of girls are, if your 16 and your hymen is still intact give yourself a round of applause.

   It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever

   Did you hear Buckwheat from "the little rascals" became a Muslim? His new name is Kareem of Wheat

   Once you go Black, you're a single Mom!!!

   Time to buy groceries. More food in a crack house than around here!

   Teach me to fish...With the price of fishing licences, it would be cheaper to just buy the little b@stards!

   Damn, it's muggy out there.....I'm sweatin' worse than John Travolta's massage therapist! ツ