Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   You'd think with all that money Rihanna is making she'd be able to afford clothes.

   Time magazine's breastfeeding cover is pretty good, but I wish they'd used a hotter three-year-old.

   The loser contestants who come back to sing on finale shows suddenly look like escaped mental patients.

   King Kong has everything on me!

   Steven Tyler looks like a zombie crawling out of a drag queen's hamper.

   To be fair, most marriages are pretty gay.

   I am just a boy standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him.

   I'm sure I have annoying habits as well but lately my wife is doing this thing where she ages.

   Kristen Stewart seems like one of those missing milk carton kids who was raised by their kidnapper.

   People who bring a bottle of wine to your house really want you to see that they are people who brought a bottle of wine to your house.

   That thing where hypnotists snap their fingers and people fall asleep? Do they make that for kids?

   Vegetarians, your boyfriends want to break up with you.

   Dear Women, We're not lying, we're trying to prevent you from killing us. Love, Men

   "You don't have to send your mother anything today, we already paid her enough." - Gay dad

   Marriage is like a permanent tattoo, looks awesome on others, you want it too, you feel nervous at first, you get it done and then you are stuck with it.. :P

   To all the Hit Moms out there, Happy M.I.L.F. Day ;)

   I can't believe Mary's parents bought that whole "pregnant virgin" thing.

   Ï believe that upon death,at heavens gate,there are 2 books in which your name need be,the book of life,&the avengers attendance sheet

   So, if 2 dudes marry, who gets to be the ungrateful, spoiled b!tch??

   To all the mothers: Happy Mother's Day. Don't let it go to your head. You are a working double tomorrow.