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Very excited for tonight's super moon, but I'm not looking forward to hearing the Mexican-werewolves............ 
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.,
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
The best time to give kids advice is when they're still young enough to believe you.
I'd sure like to "Up" a "Ton'' of something in Kate Upton.
I'd like to title myself as self unemployed ...
If you haven't celebrated Cinco de Mayo with a sink full of Mayo while each person bobbs for Mexican midgets than you are doing it wrong.
It's cool to visit Mount Rushmore and remember the good old days, when a four-headed rock monster was President.
May the fifth be with you? Tequila!
Dude, you was that drunk..... When I asked you what happened to the bottle of Tequila you said...."I plead the Cinco de Mayo"
ME: Monday ƪ(´~`")∫ Tuesday (-____-)"" Wednesday (⌣́_⌣̀) Thursday Ҩ( > ̯ < )Ҩ Friday (ˆ⌣ˆ)ง Saturday ~('▽'~) (~'▽')~ Sunday (˘ʃ_ƪ˘)
Free the mind and the ass will follow
Sometimes we must destroy something in order to rebuild it stronger, which is why drinking and liver regeneration are part of my regime.
I always though a "Super Moon" was a regular moon but with a little nut sack showing.
I forgot what cinco de mayo was about. It was when a ship full of mayonnaise sunk off the mexican coast right?
I just bought my daughter an iPad, my son an iPod, myself an iPhone...and the wife an iRon. She wasn't impressed even after I explained it can be integrated with the iWash, iCook and iClean network. This sadly triggered the iNag service, which in turn wip
Can't wait for the Super Moon tonight, I wonder what color it's cape is?
Had to fix something on my car and asked my mom to bring me the philips. She came back in less that 4 minutes with some Philips Milk of Magnesia. Some serious confusion has set in
Fat girls be sounding good on the phone ....
Hey Jack In The Crack...I ordered an Ulitimate Burger not an Ultimate Mustard!
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