Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   How bad must the rest of the sperm be if the one with Downs Syndrome wins the race?

   Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

   RIP MCA...my generation will be forever in debt for the way you fought for our right to party...

   looks like God was look look lookin at his Gucci and decided it was about that time

   I saw a sign in the store that said "pants up to 80% off" so I ran right in and everyone had their pants on. :(

   I went shopping at Sam's Club and now I have enough toilet paper to last until 2027.

   I don't understand fast food. I've been eating it for years but I seem to be getting slower and slower.

   I was counting sheep but those little b@stards started talking to me and now I REALLY can't sleep. Plus, I'm high.

   Of course I'm sorry about your problem. Just like the other 1,536 of your friends that keep reading about it. Trust me... we're ALL sorry for reading it!

   MC A of the Beastie Boys has died. I wont be able to sleep until the bury him in Brooklyn.

   Being right isn't nearly as important as knowing when to shut the hell up.

   It's Friday and I have the directions to Margaritaville!!

   Hey,,,You knew what you were getting into when you friended me...

   I saw some stupid thugs outside of JC Penny's with their pants a saggin'...Idiots had no idea that the pants 20% off was inside the store.

   Woman's tongue & Man's eye. Rest Only when they die.!

   Took a whole week for my neighbor who only watches the Discovery Channel to realize thieves had replaced his TV with an aquarium.

   The scene was in Braveheart not Gladiator, get your movies straight

   Wearing socks is as close as I'll ever get to mopping.

   I love it when I get things delivered that I ordered when drunk. Its like a gift from drunk me to sober me .

   an idiot!!! there... happy now? thanks for all of your anonymous contributions too.