Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   High schools shouldn't have school zones. If you can't cross the street by the time you're in HS you deserve to get hit.

   If I had a shot of whiskey for everytime I thought of you, I'd be sober.

   I don't trust anyone who chooses a side salad over french fries.

   Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years.

   Spend life with the people who make you happy, not the people who you have to impress.

   Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn't, stupid enough to do it anyway.

   I can't live without: ✔ Food ✔ Music ✔ Oxygen ✔ Water ✔ Internet ❒ You

   Dating your Ex again is like buying your clothes back from Goodwill. There's a reason you got rid of it in the first place.

   Just ONCE would I love to see a girl I know in a porno

   would like to thank all the micro-brewerys out there for making my alcoholism appear to be no more than a fun hobby

   well used x box for sale, cheap. Comes with lots of head games and 2 kids.

   Money doesn't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in my private jet

   I'm pretty sure the only thing guys learned from the game Hungry, Hungry Hippos is that if you slap it on the ass, it will eat your balls.....

   25% of women take mood stabilizers, yea , the other 75% are runnin around unmedicated

   You know your getting old when you need pen and paper to do maths.

   wonders if homeless people go trick or treating dressed as bums

   if Draw Something is any indication of this country's intelligence..we are in BIG trouble

   terrifoed that these are our kids 'good ole days'

   denial is only a river in egypt

   there is love and friendship then there is declaring love and friendship on Facebook, two totally different worlds that seldom are one.