Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   LIKE IF... You've recorded yourself singing to see if you could actually sing.

   Turning off the downstairs lights and running upstairs so no one kills you.

   When you're stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

   Like humans, as bitter,sour or unpleasant sometimes you just have to give them a chance... Giving Celery another try!!!

   It's always the ugly girls who are feminists

   I keep my standards low, so you don't have to!

   If you want to cry use a tissue; not your Facebook status. !!

   Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

   In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him

   Never break four things in life. Trust. Promise. Relation. And Heart. Because when they break they don't make a noise, but hurts a lot.

   LIKE If your texting speed automatically increases when you're angry.

   Like if you have tried to have S*x with Siri...

   There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding", a little reason behind every "just wondering", a little knowledge behind every "I don't know", and a little feeling behind every "I don't care".

   You know you've done a great job when somebody you DON'T know LIKEs your status.

   Admit it, we've all tried to splash water in our face like the commercials.

   LIKE if you text someone a paragraph and then 30 minutes later you get a lame reply saying "LOL".

   LIKE If you've ever laughed so hard, no noise comes out, so you sit there clapping like a dumbfounded seal.

   Reading someone's status and thinking 'OH CRY ME A RIVER'

   LIKE if you know someone who needs a smack in the face with a shovel.

   It's funny how once they see that you're doing better without them, some people decide that they want you back.