Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 2839 of 5594

   messageicon Toothpase is the smallest section at Wallmart
←Rate | 04-22-2012 01:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh for the love of Jesus please stop rep0sting this "If you want to remember you borrow money from them" sh!t. We have already seen it here ten times this week alone.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 02:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here is a big shout out for slugs, those little guys are out there doing the same stuff as snails but without helmets...
←Rate | 04-22-2012 02:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With the price of gasoline I am willing to take the risk of no ozone layer for old school "Regular" gasoline.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 03:05 by redbuffalo Comments (0)  


   messageicon So listen, here's the deal; If I wanna hear about god or religion I'll go to church, otherwise I am only here on Facebook to stalk and flirt.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 03:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Happy last earth day" ~ Mayans
←Rate | 04-22-2012 03:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feck as others would feck onto you...
←Rate | 04-22-2012 05:40 by Radhi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A great goal in life is to never let anyone you know see you removing a hair from your mouth.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 06:09 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I felt as useful as a juice box without a straw" - Lyrics from my country music song about parenting
←Rate | 04-22-2012 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to be an optimist but I know I'd be terrible at it
←Rate | 04-22-2012 06:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Invite me to your wedding . Invite me to go have fun , but please stop inviting me to your farm .
←Rate | 04-22-2012 06:30 by Surhater Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Earth Day...don't mind my tire fire......just can't seem to put it out.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 07:57 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‘Dog Whisperer' host finalizes divorce, must pay ex-wife $23,000 a month. I didnt know you can make so much money whispering to dogs,, I whisper to mine and she just looks at me
←Rate | 04-22-2012 09:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It appears the Dog Whisperer wasn't 'calm' and 'assertive' enough during his divorce settlement negotiations. .
←Rate | 04-22-2012 09:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not my farting that bothers my wife, it's me yelling "Release the Kraken!!" right before I do it.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 09:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact:There will never be a movie or book called '' ''Think'' Like a Woman".
←Rate | 04-22-2012 10:04 by bfinest Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so lazy I have to Google search "Facebook" just to go to their website.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 10:19 by Julius Andres Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when you check the price tag and sadly walk away.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 10:30 by Surhater Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bullying Support Group meeting, tonight at 8. You'd better f*cking be there.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you lose a fight to a midget, you become one.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 11:18 by Baddie Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left