Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Has anyone gotten a "your mom" tattoo instead of one that says "mom"?... I can't be the first to think of this can I ?

   I rewrote a new ending for my autobiography... This time, I live.

   _Dick Clark died? That was rather sudden. I mean, they didn't even have a countdown or anything.

   I just went by Lowes to see if they had any grass......That had a whole different meaning when I was 20....just sayin'

   Kids nowadays have it made.... I'd like to see them settle for a gray and white t.v. with rabbit ears and aluminum foil.

   I used to have a tattoo of a ninja on my shoulder, well played tattoo ninja,,,,, well played

   How come Mario can smash bricks with his head, but when he touches a turtle he dies

   Remember: Being awake during a Saturday Morning sunrise is a sign of a good Friday Night.

   I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.

   NEWS FLASH: "Before" is spelled B-E-F-O-R-E, not B4...this is English, not Bingo.

   Can't call it a real relationship if you feel single.

   If you're playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night & you put your ear up to your monitor, it sounds exactly like having no friends.

   Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having

   Dear Inventor of the Keyboard, Why did you make the "t" and the "g" so close together? I keep signing my letters "With Retards"

   Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: with what?

   Every Saturday morning I wake up in fear... the fear of looking through my phone.

   It so crazy to see how many people are shocked by honesty, and how few by deceit.

   It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it....That's Hollywood

   Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.....and who said statistics don't have a beginning, middle, and end.

   Be an OPTIMIST Prime and not a NEGAtron.