Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   A dog will love you more then your wife... Don't believe me? Lock both in the trunk of your car for an hour then see which one will be happy to see you.

   What do you get someone who has everything? A round of antibiotics is probably a good place to start.....

   My girlfriend is rated "E" for Everyone:

   Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler! Don't forget to party with 70 virgins and Bin Laden!

   What occupies the last 6 pages of the Chrysler Car User's Manual? The bus and train schedules....

   US Presidential elections 2012, polls close. "So, Barack, how many votes did you get?" asks his wife Michelle. "Two," he responds. She slaps him hard across the face. "What was that for?" "You have a mistress, now do you!!?"

   Dear Karma – I have a list of a few people you missed. Sincerely, Me

   If you say “gullible” slow enough…it sounds like “orange”!

   surprise drug test day

   WTF.! is 'Snow' saying in the song 'Informer'.

   Love the F word... Friday! What were you thinking?

   I have you on the top of my "to do" list- thought you'd like to know! :)

   This is how guccimane face look (8o>-_-)

   everyone hopes for a happy ending...except inmates

   It's 4:20 on 4/20! Do you know where your bong is?

   You call today, "4/20 day". Us in the police world call it, "I'm gonna search the f__ out of your Honda Civic Day"

   One of these days I'm going to show up at this WHO CARES hole-in-the-wall you just "checked in" on 4square & slap your phone out of your hand.

   No matter how bad thing get in life, I can always cheer myself up by thinkin. I could have the reputation of Michael Jackson.

   I hope somebody shoots Tupac's hologram!

   Somebody just told me "an apple a day keeps the doctor away"..so I asked him "how many apples does it take to keep YOU away?"