Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   ever wonder where hoarders come from? have a Yard Sale....

   I hate when people are trying to talk to me when I'm in the middle of doing something really important... like being awesome.

   The most ordinary things are made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people...

   Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.

   I go to your page because I miss you, then regret it because of what I see.

   I bet procrastinating serial killers wait until today to buy their hockey masks.

   My parents used to be happy when I took naps but now they think I'm lazy.

   I wonder how people would react if I walked into Sea World with a fishing pole.

   Pretty soon people will be saying, "You were born in the 1900's?"

   can I see your license and registration meow?

   Women drivers are like stars in the sky. You can see them, but they can't see you.

   Ghetto pronunciation: Bathroom = Baafrumm, Refrigerator = Fridgerataa, Remote = Moken Troll.

   Facebook is the leading cause to cell phone battery deaths.

   Why post a picture on Facebook with the caption 'OMG I'm sooooooo ugly or fat' and then get annoyed when I agree?

   The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you're watching.

   We all have that friend that acts innocent, but is very naughty

   This beer tastes like I'm not waking up until the afternoon.

   1:00pm *Hears noise* "Hmm I wonder what that was..." 1:00am *Hears noise* "OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO BE MURDERED!"

   Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing

   Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't sit too well