Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   You know,,, The first rule of redundancy club, is the first rule of redundancy club.

   We have a very small hen house door,,,So you've probably guessed already...Sorry,, no fat chicks

   I wish I had a dollar, for every dollar I don't have.

   LIKE if you remember having to REWIND a video before you returned it.

   There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard

   A successful relationship is one in which one person shuts up when the other is right.

   Hey blockbuster..theres netflix now we don't need you ...thats what you get for having late charges see yah welcome to the future.!!

   I am sick of women saying men can't multi task! I can tell my wife that her ass don't look fat in those jeans and keep a straight face at the same time.

   Zimmerman's new lawyer has issued a statement stating that ''Mr.Zimmerman said that he is sorry for shooting and Killing Trayvon Martin and that it won't happen again''.

   If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can only hope that they divide us by music genres.

   Ever feel like ur a vibrator? Good enough to stick up someone's ass to please them and then ur tossed into a drawer until you good enought to be used again!

   My god you'd think a ship sank about 100 years ago or something.

   Spelling bees think they're better than the illiterate bees.......... ( Sorry, I'll just let myself out..)

   NEWS: Scientists discover that doves can't cry............ Prince stripped of high school diploma.......

   Will you be mine? Blink for yes, lick your elbow for no. ;)

   You call it lazy. I call it keeping housekeepers employed...

   "Will you love me forever?" She asked. "Of course." I replied, lying beside her...

   I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her.

   Well, it's about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.

   Going "balls to the wall" is something that I will never ever ever ever EVER do, cuz... youch!