Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   You look cute...in a National Geographic way.

   If history repeats itself, I'm totally getting a dinosaur!

   I used to watch TV, read the paper, and listen to the radio. Now I watch the internet, read the internet, and listen to the internet.

   Shout Out to the first person to post a Youtube video on Facebook.... Happy now?

   Wayne Rooney has visited Fabrice Muamba in hospital. "It's great, he can almost string a sentence together", said Fabrice.

   never drink before a 1st date for confidence. I did once and ended up marrying him.

   The price for fags have been increased by 37p. One Direction tickets now cost £40.37

   Been at this farmer's market for an hour,,, Still can't find the guy that sells the smug sense of superiority everyone here has.

   If you have fake eyelashes,weave,make up, and drawn on eyebrows... you not a bad chick you a created player

   I may be reading too much into this, but I'm pretty sure this girl I met is stalking me... I saw her google my name last night through my binoculars.. I nearly fell out of the tree!!

   I love Captain Crunch,,, and by that I mean I can't get enough of tasting the "roof of my mouth" skin... Two more bowls till I can tongue my brain.

   The court took my lisence for blowin a .08 and then sends me a jurry summons.... How the f*** am I supposed to get there???

   Some Where In The Ghetto there's a girl using her EBT card like it's a VISA. "What you mean it declined, try that shhit again".

   I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said "I MISS ATLANTA" so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

   It's cute when they put expiration dates on snacks like I won't eat them as soon as I get to my car.

   A black boy in a hoodie is a thug but a white kid in a hoodie is a skateboarder

   I don't have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.

   I wonder if Tim Tebow has enough guts to give Mark a Dirty Sanchez in the locker room after there first Victory!

   I just saved a bunch of money on an anniversary gift, by having my GF break up with me

   NEWS ALERT: Former Vice President Dick Cheney has received a heart transplant. In related news; Mr. Cheney has announced he is becoming a Democrat.