Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   So does God now root for the Jets or does he stay loyal to the Broncos?

   I took a lie detector test the other day, I sure hope I can sell it on ebay

   ‎"If you're building a time machine, Take your time. what's the rush?"

   I just Googled "Myspace" and google said, "Did you mean FACEBOOK."

   The entire freak show from the carnival was shopping at walmart and no one noticed....I gave a bearded lady a buck anyway

   I'm a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.

   I was serenading under this chick's window and she still blew me off. Luckily, her grandma was old school. Score!

   Sadly, knowing where the bodies were buried did not save the job of Bob the Grave Digger.

   I hate when I accidentally get married and have 11 children with a woman then realize I dont love her anymore and leave her for my secretary

   what do gay horses eat?.................HaaaaAAAAAaaayyyyyy

   an uneasy feeling drinking from the water fountain by the bathrooms while someone flushes the toilet.

   I wonder if Oriental ppl make the "Smiley faces" like this ☞ |-)

   well at least the jets have god on their side now.

   Live today like it's your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't.

   Just read that Bill Belichick talked to the Red Sox today. Topic must have been: How to lose to New York.

   scrubbing the barnacles off a bum so my daughter has a date to the prom....being fat aint easy

   Definition of anxiety: half of the time you're worried about the other half of the time.

   Do you know who has a bad sense of direction? This guy. =======>

   A Hitler 'stache aint cool bro, esp when its just your nose hairs

   I know it's warm outside and spring is in the air BUT if you haven't worked out this winter, please don't dress like it. I see ladies walking around with half shirts looking like half opened cans of biscuits.