Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I looked at you and all I could see was perfection, you looked at me and in your eyes I was a rejection.

   If you're not getting laid then bragging about being single and not in a relationship is pretty fckuing pointless.

   Why is everyone pinching me today?

   I am so sick of Irish Stereotypes ....as soon as I finish this pint of Guinness I'm gonna punch someone in the face

   Do not put off till tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well.

   They have nothing in their whole imperial arsenal that can break the spirit of one Irishman who doesn't want to be broken. (Bobby Sands)

   Laughter is not the best medicine...Large amounts of beer, now that's the best medicine!

   When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can't get any worse, please remember...I don't give a s$it.

   respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable

   remember people...st patricks day means to wear green clothing....not to drink till you turn green in the face. dont go out drinking too much tonight

   swears that about a third of my life is spent trying to remember why I have entered a room.

   just here to establish my alibi.

   "Wish you were here" - me, thinking about the wine that is in the fridge

   Hands don't make the music, the soul does.

   What's Rick Ross's wost nightmare? Dying from breast cancer.

   Miracles do happen even on Facebook and Twitter. Come Sunday and suddenly everyone becomes a preacher.

   Just watched Die Hard 2. People in 1990 sure knew how to shrug off a plane crash.

   Today we celebrate the man who brought Christianity to Ireland by drinking hard enough forget everything he taught.

   Sometimes I forget every thought I've ever had and stare at the phone, wondering why it's in my hand

   If you have to ask "You know I'm saying?", you probably didn't make your point very effectively in the first place.