Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Happy March 14th to all the MEN out there.... (not sure what it is?? GOOGLE IT)

   I am a nurse, I'm just not registered.

   Once these h$es realize 1+1= 2 and NOT 3 the world will be a better place.

   Rearrange these words: 1) PNEIS 2) HTILER 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE Did you read..........Spine, Lither, Ginger and Subtext?

   Reenacting scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen...

   I came home drunk last night and my wife looks at me says"Drunk Again" and I said "Me Too!!

   I eat Burger King at every whoppertunity

   Tomorrow is Steak and BJ Day. I won't be celebrating. It's not like anyone would treat me to Steak and Berry Juice anyway...

   Fixin' to do some mechanic work... Have a rear end to put in my recliner!

   On a scale 1 to Adele, how tough was your breakup?

   Who are your favorite underground artists?? Mine are Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston

   When I was a kid I loved the game kerplunk. Now I play everyday with the insane amt of clutter in my house

   Search engine guide: BING = "But It's Not Google!" , YAHOO = "You Always Have Other Option" , GOOGLE = "Great Omnipotent Optimal Guide to Lots of Everything".

   Gettin really tired of you emotional women on facebook. Stick some cotton in your crotch, eat a tub of ice cream, curl up to your body pillow, STFU and go to sleep

   Happy "Steak and BJ Day". I'll take both well done.

   I use sarcasm because beating the crap out of people is in fact frowned upon in most societies

   toooo many Debbie Downers on facebook...wah, my life sucks, wah, my husband died ,wah, I burned dinner...

   signed up for the wrong college courses... apparently I'm a rhinocologist..

   rode into town on my horse. not worth it, I had to pick up his poo with a snow shovel and a hefty bag.

   looks like I'm having pie all day....Thanks to 3-14 or 3.14