Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I can speak only two languages Body and English.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 12:00 by Faizan ali zargar | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon To girls suffering from a case of too many friend requests: Here is a free tip - Put some clothes on and post your real pictures without photoshop or makeup. Problem solved!
←Rate | 03-09-2012 12:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother? Leave the plunger in the toilet
←Rate | 03-09-2012 12:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out the girlfriend is pregnant, so I decided to propose. "Will you make me the happiest man on earth, or will you keep the baby?"
←Rate | 03-09-2012 12:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to be a bouncer: 1.) Be an @sshole. 2.) Stand near a door.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 12:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I worry that I've been wasting my life, I cheer myself up by remembering that I have never read a Twilight book....
←Rate | 03-09-2012 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since when do Catholics care about contraception? Alter boys can't get pregnant..
←Rate | 03-09-2012 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At last I've managed to find my girlfriend's G-spot! Who would have thought her sister had it all the time?
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is International Women's day. It was supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready !
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all the spam we get for p*nis enlargement pills, you'd think by now someone would have invented a pill to shrink v*ginas instead.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that if you put your ear up to a stranger's leg you can hear them say, "What the f*ck are you doing?"
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not FAT! It's just my awesomeness swilling up inside of me.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:20 by EddieSphagetti Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to hear a joke? "Women's rights"
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon people who hate Ed Hardy clothes are the ones who cant afford them
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:40 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I started a support group for introverts but nobody came.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:45 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Karma, I got a list of people you missed."
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:45 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should have an "exam mode" where you can enter the dates of your exams and you are denied access if you try to go on it during that period of time.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:46 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was gonna give my change to a homeless guy today, but his sign said "ONE DAY IT COULD BE YOU." I held onto it, just in case he was right.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:49 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Recipe for disaster: When your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad..."
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:49 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Uh, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thanks, homie.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 13:52 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  



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