Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Vampires aren't on FB because they can't take pictures of themselves in front of a mirror. 
I decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I'm getting 4 million dollars back this year!
I've been reading a book called '1,000 sexual positions'. I've reached position 176 and apparently from now on I'm going to need a woman.
when the police were doing the chalk outline of Whitney Houston's body, her spirit rose up & tried to snort it
It seems Animal Planet has combined with CMT...
Why use ADT when you can use an AK-47?
I just want to play cards with a priest so I can say... Forgive me father for I have ginned
My teacher always used tell me to follow my dreams now it seems I have a restraining order
They say you can't make jokes about blind people, just watch me.
1 day i'm gonna be telling my kids about payphones, no cell phones or internet & the video games aren't portable....& the kids will think it's a fairy tale
I'm not fat. My stomach is just 3D. ;)
Valentine's Day was a lot of fun, but now what do I do with the body?
Overly wordy and verbose words are ubiquitous.
Whenever I realize a girl likes me, my first thought is, "What's wrong with this woman that would make her like ME?"
FACT: If you don't ask for butter on your toast but the waitress brings it anyway God won't let the cholesterol harm you.
Jobs of your boss: 5% to pay your wages. 95% to annoy the hell out of you
When the guy in your office says he's going bowling on his own, you've got to ask yourself, 'have I got enough friends
Grammar- the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit
just put clothespins and baseball cards on my spokes..my car is gonna be the coolest one in the hood
tricked my ride with pinwheels on my antenna, if only my moms didnnt make me put that big ass orange flag on my bumper
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
