Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   It's so cold tonight I saw a Rabbi wearing a flannel Yarmulke!

   For the first time since the early 90's, Whitney Houston has everyone talking about her latest 'Hit.' :/

   News of Whitney Houston's death travelled with such speed. When I heard I couldn't help but crack up with emotion. She was a real heroin. It's such a blow. She really made a hash of things though.

   Ventriloquists would be a lot cooler if they could throw their farts.

   I was sitting having a poo as you do and thought, wow you know, they should hook something up to the flush button that activates an applause. That would be so cool.

   Whitney Houston died? Does that mean we have to wait nearly 20 years for Justin Bieber to die? Has anyone turned him on to coke yet?

   Whitney finally caught up to her career.

   Thinks Whitney had her own pre-grammy party. grammy of coke, grammy of heroin, grammy of.......

   would like to crack a dope joke...but sympathies to Houston's family!

   a new hobby!! I go to the “One Million Mom's” FB page just to post that I'm going to JCPenny!

   Just sitting here thinking. We don't need more religion, we have plenty. What we need are more Christians, living a Christ like life!

   I'm writing a play about agoraphobic jazz musicians and calling it "Indoor Cats."

   No one believes me when I tell them the music they listen to is bad.

   Thought an owl threw up in my bed but no apparently I ate half a granola bar in my sleep.

   Saw a baby holding a silly green cellphone rattle, fat colorful plastic keys and a KEEP MOVIN' shirt. Take the hint baby, grow up & get out.

   Can't remember anything after about 9pm last night, but given that I just found my comb in the peanut butter jar, I don't think I want to.

   If Taco Bell really did "Think outside the bun," they would add margaritas to their menus, and replace hot sauce packets with Pepto Bismol.

   Those Valentine's Day displays at the entrance of every store are like surprise parties for your loneliness.

   OMG I just heard Whitney Huston died? better start looking for my earplugs

   I mean, we all grieve in our own ways. She chose to listen to The Bodyguard soundtrack all night. I chose $1,100 worth of lap dances.