Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Tried the new fire and ice condoms last night...must have put it on inside out cause when it was over she rolled over and started snoring and I wanted to talk.

   I once smelled mothballs. I couldn't believe how hard it was spreading his tiny legs.

   you know what they say about black jokes... if you have heard one then you heard jemal

   what do you call a man with no arms or legs laying by the front door? matt.

   I got sacked as a bingo caller tonight. Apparently "a meal for two with a terrible view" wasn't the best way to announce the number 69....

   Redneck word of the day, Obama……I bought me a case of beer but I drank it Obama self.

   I'm having doubts about that dehydrated water I bought for my plastic plants.

   Due to the fear of a nip slip during the Madonna halftime show, NBC will only be filming her from the waist up. 

   Pretty excited that the Patriots and the Giants are opening for Madonna at the Superbowl

   only bowl tom brady should be playing in is the turd bowl

   Never trust a pretty face on a dating site

   RING... RING!!! (My Boss) "Hello?" (Me) "hmph gorg jawb forb berk." (My Boss) "Okay, see ya on Tuesday."

   Teacher: If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him, what virtue will I be showing? Student: Brotherly love!

   I used to be a looker when I was younger. Or a peeping Tom as the girls used to call me

   Politicians should wear uniforms like NASCAR so we can see who their corperate sponsors are.

   harry potter is such a fake movie, like really a ginger with two friends

   I use to be a tight end... Now I'm a wide reciever!

   wut the hell..no more jokes? my fb fanz gon b pissed

   Shouldn't those polar bears have diabetes by now???? #tooMuchCoke

   this is what has happened when the have Giants won the Superbowl....1987 Black Monday Stock Market Crash,1991 Gulf War part 1,2008 Economy Crashes....2012