Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Please don't BRO me, I am a single child and I'm white.

   What's the difference between pick and choose? Pick is when you make a decision about something & Choose is what Puerto Rican women wear on their feet!

   See even Don Cornelius is sick of Black History month.

   There are two types of women - one with perfect make-up, great hair, sexy clothing, fresh nail polish, and incredible shoes . . . and one with kids!

   Whoever taught Yoda English in High School did a horrible job.

   thanking Don Cornelius for startting off Black History Month with a bang.

   needs to get help for alcoholism NOW...wonder where I should go.

   How come you can't get toothpaste to stay on the brush but you have to use a putty knife to get it out of the sink?

   Why are the Egyptian people so angry......

   Some people push your buttons and others just outright break your keyboard!!!

   Caution: underestimate me at your own risk!

   I hate it when you're with MC Hammer and he doesn't let you touch anything

   You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

   The only reason women can't park is because we are constantly being lied to about what 8 inches really is.

   F#ck annoying! its irrelevant.

   I'm not a Justin Bieber fan, I don't even like the music. But seriously, I'm sick of all the hating. I don't care how the singer looks like. I'm not defending anyone, but didn't your parents teach you to respect women?

   "The trouble with Quotes on the internet is that it difficult to determine whether or not they're authentic" ~ Abraham Lincoln ~

   I alternate between cautious optimism and reckless pessimism.

   Anyone can air guitar. It takes a true artist to air tambourine.

   I think someone needs to remind the drug sniffing dogs, the "man's best friend" thing !