Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   wondering what to do. I used my last Post-It Note and have no idea how to remind myself to get more...

   I hate when ppl say near miss, shouldnt it be a near hit?

   People who talk to themselves are weirdos! Uh, no they aren't!

   Pretty sure Brazil has an enormous wax museum.

   I wanted to bake a cake from scratch, but I'm out of scratch.

   Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed

   My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending.

   The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.

   Friends are like trees. They both fall down after being hit multiple times with an ax.

   Watching the Cowboys. The John Wayne ones, not the loosing ones.

   in TIME OUT because riding the dog like it's a Small Horse is frowned upon in this establishment...

   Hang on Tim, God is caught in traffic. Still hasn't arrived in Foxboro yet.

   Iron Man is a super hero. Iron Woman is a command.

   If you're not happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship... Get ya life in order before you try to share it with someone else.

   Sorry Tim. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

   Sorry Tim. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away

   I don't consider myself a Tebow hater...that label is placed on we Tebow realists by his sycophantic minions. Just now...he threw a dead on pass...at the receiver's ankles.

   Too many hood guys not enough good guys..

   Not even FEMA could help the saints

   You don't have to like me, I'm not a Facebook status