Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Confuscius Say: "One cannot find what one is looking for with head up a$$."

   party at camp crystal lake tonight all "people I may know" are invited.

   Why is the Arab world pissed about the video of Marines peeing on dead bodies? A lot of people enjoy getting peed on judging from the number of videos I found trying to find the video in question.

   My life's an open Facebook

   12/21/12 falls on a Friday. Looks like the world's had enough of Rebecca Black.

   Friday the 13th, eh? I bet there's a lot of killer parties going on tonight!

   I don't understand why Beyonce and Jay-Z didn't name their baby 'BeJay'.

   It is impossible to defeat an ignorant person in an argument.

   Ahhh yes! My favourite day of the year, Friday the 13th,, ,, just sharpened my machete and dusted off my goalie mask,, well, off to the lake, see you later!!

   Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies is the main reason why I have trust issues

   Whenever a woman says, "I'm going out tonight with the girls;" I like to think she's referring to her boobs.

   In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.

   feeling more lazy that the guy who invented the Flamethrower "I wanna set that on fire way over there, but I dont wanna get up"

   When gas stations start charging for air--that's inflation

   If you were to lose your left arm your right one would be left.

   Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of sh*t but their pink bits taste amazing!!

   .I just changed the name of my wireless network to....♫ ♪ Pretty Fly for a Wi-Fi ♪ ♫

   u wrote me a note and it said "n ss!w !" ...it didnt make sense till I turned it upside down!! (",)

   Wait a minute. I'm supposed to believe God is on the side of the quarterback NOT married to Gisele?

   Paula Deen selling Diabetes Drugs is like Courtney Love selling methadone.