Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If karma doesn't hit you, I swear I will first..

   Alabama: The land of Gump.

   OFF is the general direction in which I would like you to Fuck

   I swear I was just eating a bowl of cheerios and I saw Tim Tbow's face

   A disturbing new study finds that studies are disturbing.

   Dont go broke trying to look RICH....act your wage!

   No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.

   after you break down in a car you feel so violated, you don't even want the car no more.

   With a tv rating of 31.6 million. Average yard per pass was 31.6 yards and total yards was 316. Id say tebow is on to something. Dont believe those stats. Look it up.....

   the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn't make it any less special.

   With the money they have they could of bought a better baby name......

   Thought of something brilliant? Just google it, and you will soon realize how uncreative you really are.

   Love? No I prefer vodka

   if you can't win an argument, correct their grammar instead.

   Tim Tebow predicted Alabama's win at 3:16 this afternoon

   Was I supposed to write something here?

   I blew up my air mattress and now it's asking for a cigarette.

   I haven't spoken to my wife in 8 days because she hates it when I interrupt her

   Dont be disappointed if ppl refuse to help you.... remember the words of Einstein.... "Im thankful for those who said "NO" because of them I did it myself!" ツ ♡

   No peace at home = no piece at home.