Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The Korean version of "Marley and Me" was probably a lot shorter...
←Rate | 01-02-2012 13:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not been to his Farmville in so long I just found out it was paved and turned into a parking lot...
←Rate | 01-02-2012 14:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A relationship should be between (^__^) & (^__^) NOT (^__^) & (^__^) + (-_(-_(-_-)_-)_-) + FACEBOOK
←Rate | 01-02-2012 16:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
←Rate | 01-02-2012 17:03 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love finding money in my clothes…..its like a gift from me.. to me. 
←Rate | 01-02-2012 17:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Angry birds are nothing compared to angry beavers. Those teeth hurt!
←Rate | 01-02-2012 18:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone know how to get blood stains out of carpet? Totally unrelated, but I also am looking for a new girlfriend.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 19:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what's your plan?
←Rate | 01-02-2012 20:38 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon WINTER DRIVING TIP: Wait until your vechicle has slipped off the road instead of Texting while driving.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 21:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon this is just a temporary status...until I think of something better
←Rate | 01-02-2012 22:12 by mtravica Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like falling in love with a sociopath to make you question your judgement.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 23:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon predicting to go another year without love... as long as I have apple juice I'm good though.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 23:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charles Barkley's head looks like an Angry Bird.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 23:08 by fadolo Comments (1)  


   messageicon Drank so much over the weekend that I'm giving a new meaning to "Shooting Craps."
←Rate | 01-02-2012 23:12 by Johnny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whatever's wrong with me, it's a pleasure.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 23:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could post the funniest status ever and I'll still get at least one dislike. Hi hater!
←Rate | 01-02-2012 23:32 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe, just maybe, the guy that was in charge of designing the Mayan calendar just died when he got to December 2012 and nobody else felt like continuing it because they were like, "why the hell were we planning that far ahead anyway?".
←Rate | 01-03-2012 00:09 by Julius Andres Comments (0)  


   messageicon YOU JUST PROVED IT! ADVERTISING DOES WORK! THIS SPACE FOR RENT AT AFFORDABLE PRICES!
←Rate | 01-03-2012 00:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am super tired... well its regular tired except I have a cape... okay just a blanket and one hell of an imagination
←Rate | 01-03-2012 01:23 by @BoyGotJokes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I look forward to the day I get to complain to my grandkids about how when I was growing up we didn't have 3D porn.
←Rate | 01-03-2012 01:33 Comments (0)  



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