Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   So that means when its 2013 next year, the century will be a teenager and not talk to us, and will know everything

   Here is the line _____ do me a favor and don't cross it.

   hopes everyone had a great night, got drunk and woke up wearing someone else's underpants. Happy 2012!

   Ugly people are always the ones starting drama and fights since they know they have nothing to lose if they get beat down.

   just found out there was no pinatas at the new years party and I owe the host 479.00 for new lamps...haha

   I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.

   I bet the minivan industry hates the condom industry.

   I will never tell you the number of people I've slept with, especially if you're next on my list.

   worried that Santa won't bring any gifts for dirty minded people. I'm screwed. Haha, screwed.

   Congrats to Lebron James for getting engaged, his fiance now leads the family with 1 ring.

   Can you imagine watching Jersey Shore in Smell-O-Vision?

   According to D!ck Clark this new year's eve is going to be the "besjtkdksnsm newsjsjsoa evesjdddb."

   Happiness is going to your sons wedding, seeing your ex-wife and fighting the desire to shake the hand of the man who she left you to be with and say, "thank you, I really dodged the bullet on that one"

   My sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. Your welcome!

   Be creative, invent a perversion.

   I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

   We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.

   I had my identity stolen the day after Christmas. It was reurned in yesterday's mail with $20 and a note that read, "Damn dude, no one owants to be you!"

   Eating some food from last year.

   My number one New Year's Resolution is: Don't die.