Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   When love wants to speak, reason must shut the hell up.

   He who breaks a New Year's resolution is a weakling and he who makes one is a fool.

   My new year's resolution is to improve my powers of concentra......... oh look a squirrel

   Waxing every inch of male body hair is still more masculine than saying the word 'Man-scaping.'

   If you don't have any children, charce's are you won't have any grandchildren.

   Seasons Beatings from your local Dominatrix office.

   Its New Years... I just dont understand why people feel the need that they have to go out and get sh!tfaced and not remember ringing in the New Year..Well I guess I should finish these beers and get back to work. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

   its funny how people say they gonna change and its a new year shut the hell up you gonna be the same person just a diff year

   Just found pebbles stuck in my pond filter. Fred and Wilma are going to be devastated.

   Rihanna says chains and whips excite her, I doubt her ancestors felt the same way.

   Since the world is going to end next December instead of saying happy new year, I'm going to say happy last year! 

   The reviews are in... And Yes, I am awesome

   Those awkward car rides with people you barely know.

   That Sinking Feeling: Facebook has worked very hard at making its new Timeline Profiles look like MySpace.

   my 2012 new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

   Don't worry there are plenty other fish in the sea. None as attractive as the one that just dumped you but plenty other fish!

   froget the world ending in 2012 , my inspection sticker ends in 2012!!

   I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge. :(

   ...... OMG ...... forget about worrying about the end of the Mayan Calendar on 12-21-2012!!!! ..... I just noticed that my Staples Calendar ends TONITE!!!!! ........ YIKES!!!!

   BREAKING NEWS: Apple has announced that there will be no 2012, only 2011S.