Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Putting your iPod on shuffle… “not this one.” (←_←) “or this one.” (←_←) “BINGO!” ~(','~) (~',')~ \('-'\) (/'-')/ \('-'\) (/'-')/
←Rate | 12-19-2011 22:39 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm looking for a LeBron James sort of relationship. No ring and I can disappear when you really need me.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 22:49 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Jong il last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
←Rate | 12-19-2011 23:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon These girls in my online class are sooo hot hot. ... Oh wait nevermind, that's just internet porn.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 23:39 by @HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im gonna laugh when the day comes when our generation is saying "You spoiled little brats! All we had in our day was Xbox's, PS3's, iphones, flat-screen tv's & laptops, you ungrateful little sh!t"
←Rate | 12-19-2011 23:42 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear God, its me again. If you are not busy making rich people richer, can I have a minute of your time please?
←Rate | 12-20-2011 00:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon RUMORS are carried by HATERS, spread by FOOLS and accepted by IDIOTS.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 00:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right now your holding your phone in your right hand, having your 3 fingers behind, your pinky on the bottom & scrolling down with your thumb! :)
←Rate | 12-20-2011 00:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..
←Rate | 12-20-2011 00:50 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at fist you don't succeed, Google it, and see if someone else screwed it up the way you did.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? I pulled up next to this chick in the car putting on mascara and it just didnt look right with those yellow teeth!
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:07 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bra section. The only place in the world where you fail if you get an A.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: you know your eyebrows are bad when you go to a funeral looking real happy.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I smashed open my piggy bank earlier. I've got just about enough in it to buy a new piggy bank.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing that Facebook changes will ever keep me from stalking you.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your Christmas present will be all the more meaningful to me if you had to pepper spray someone in order to get it.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If men stopped holding doors open for them, would ladies just pile up outside?
←Rate | 12-20-2011 01:33 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBC News: "Man critical after Specsavers car park crash." He should have gone to . . . Oh
←Rate | 12-20-2011 02:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are not at the table, you are probably on the menu.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 02:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dropped my laptop in the ocean, now there is A dell rolling in the deep :)
←Rate | 12-20-2011 02:32 Comments (0)  



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