Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Like this status Ladies and I'll take you to see the Muppets Movie.

   There is no "i" in liar

   The best thing about sex is that part where I have it.

   Some woman has just said to me... Oh it's the last day of November, are you going to be shaving your tash"... No darling I'm keeping it, what about yours ?

   im gassy while watching the news... imma go occupy the toilet

   Love is like a game, Some people Cheat and some prefer to play it fair.

   Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.

   This Cottage cheese needs something. Like a burger and fries.

   To the untrained eye, I'm quite handsome.

   I'm not saying I'm out of shape, but following a brisk hike down the stairs to the fridge I just sweated out Vince Vaughn holding a bottle of bourbon.

   Stuff happens.. but it is nothing that a bowl of Captain Crunch can't fix

   You are stronger than you think you are. Keep pushing forward, never give up on your dreams, and don't let anyone stop you

   In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.

   I don't know what I'd do without you guys but I bet it would be something productive.

   Are you really leaving or are you just trying to brighten up my day?

   apparently Conrad Murray wasn't a SMOOTH CRIMINAL like he though. now if he drops the soap he gets a THRILLER.

   i'm not an alcoholic, i'm a drunk... alcoholics go to meetings

   Women are addicting

   If Justing Bieber was a real man, he wouldn't have his own line of womens perfume...

   Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin. It tastes the same, but you know its wrong....