Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   There's always that one person who's life you can watch fall apart through facebook statuse$

   It's a facebook status, not an opportunity to spill your whole life story and look for everybody's pity

   I HATE the commercials that try to connect their product to a virtue of life, such as "Mayo....because everyone appreciates being with family." I could be with my family without Mayo, thanks

   I think they should leagalize p0t for teachers.. Think about it.. It eliminates them drinkin on the job.. It would make classes a lot more interesting, and people may actually wana stay in school.

   s I think they should leagalize p0t for teachers.. Think about it.. It eliminates them drinkin on the job.. It would make classes a lot more interesting, and people may actually wana stay in school.

   If they shut down facebook, people would be roaming the streets in tears , shoving pictures of themselves in other people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!".

   Thank god Facebook is back up. I've had to phone 247 of my friends to tell them 'I hate work, I'm having a glass of water and going to bed, lol'. It's taken me all night!

   If facebook had an anonymous button, then all hell would break loose.

   He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good… Sounds like Santa's got a Facebook.

   *Logs onto FaceBook and reads* 5 song lyrics, 2 people telling what they're doing right then at that very moment, 3 stupid pictures of food or funny faces, 4 attempts at a witty remark, 1 truly funny witty remark, and a person who likes 75 pages.

   U know that Happiness is a cop car turning his lights on behind you and immediately going past you.

   Fine don't text me back then. It's not like I'm obsessively checking my damn phone or anything.

   I'm thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would damn listen.

   Dear Santa, I've been a naughty girl all year long, and it was worth it you judgemental fat ba$tard!

   & who else adds that little pointless arrow - telling your teacher to flip the page over.

   wow... I think easter is a few weeks away... calm down walmart...

   "To Hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat same as worms."-Josie Wales

   I never worry about a girlfriend cheating,.. It's how much bigger there boyfriend might be that scares me."

   Wonders how many poor undeserving children of the next generation will be named Bella, Edward, Jacob or Cullen.

   Apparently, it's illegal to set up deer stands..... especially at petting zoos, even during deer season.... Lesson learned.... next year I will set up at a non-petting zoo.