Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Alarm clock alarms in the morning!!! Fergie's wife: Sir wake up it is 7. Fergie: Ohhhh, have they scored another one!!!!!

   Some people think of you as a ladder. Once they use you to reach the top, they throw you down.

   Ladies: If he is only interested in your breasts, legs and thighs send him to KFC. Don't be his value meal.

   When things don't add up in your life, start subtracting.

   Facebook: the best way for singles to know if they want to date someone or just poke em

   What you don't have time for the next man will...........What you don't wanna do the next chick will.

   A tooth allegedly belonging to John Lennon is being put up for auction… you know times are bad when the Tooth-fairy needs cash...

   Do as I say not as I Facebook

   I was told to get a life so Up Up, Down Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start now I have 30 of them!

   To everyone who is dying to be s0meone else. R.I.P!!

   What's a girlfriend and how can I download one?

   Halloween ,the only time peados get home dilevary!!

   "OMG your fake tan looks so good!" LOL JK, it looks like you got raped by an orange

   I am more impressed with those who ask good questions than I am with those that have good answers.

   If you are fat and your wearing skinny jeans, it does not make you look skinny.. it makes you look silly!!!

   If one person has an imaginary friend, they're crazy, if many people have the same imaginary friend, it's religion??

   Saddam Hussein ☑ - Osama Bin Laden ☑ - Louie walsh √ - Col. Gaddafi ☑

   It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

   OK...if you're a fish, do you have to wait 30 mins to swim after you eat??

   People should come with a warning label of does or does not wash hands after using the restroom