Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I DIDN'T SAY THAT YOUR GIRL WAS A $LUT! I MERELY INDICATED THAT HER "PRIVATE PARTS" WERE MORE LIKE "PUBLIC PARTS"

   When women talk to each other, the devil sits in a corner, quietly listening and learning.

   dont laugh at ur friends if they start sounding like chicken little this next week..."the sky is falling"

   I like to go to the store, ask for help, get real close to the employee and whisper "Where is your lice medicine" just for the reaction

   Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.

   this uhh jersey shore show that my kids watch... is it like a facebook in reality.. t.v show ? just doesnt make sense to me .

   time to get the Atari out and take care of this falling satellite...

   Rabity Ear Antennae users and Direct TV customers will finally have clearer reception tomorrow as the Satlellite approaches closer- Sat they will be back to fuzzy logic!

   so..nasa says your not allowed to sell any part of the satellite on ebay thats hurtling towards earth at 5 miles per second. 5 miles per seocnd?..is their going to be anything left to sell then?

   The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.

   If you update your status more than three times in any 24hour period you have too much time on your hands - and should probably get a job.

   Never fear the unknown; embrace it! Never avoid challenges; welcome them! Never fear negativity; laugh at it! Never walk away from difficulties; confront them! True success can never be achieved without overcoming some sort of obstacles!

   Please stop looking so attractive. I m trying to stop liking you.

   Stupidity is not an inherited trait, but for some it comes quite naturally.

   Since Facebook shows when you add new friends, it's only fair, and would be quite amusing, to show when you delete someone...and why.

   Make crime pay...become a lawyer.

   So you saying I have a better chance in getting hit by a piece satellite then winning the lotto tomorrow!?!? WTF!!

   I miss me when I'm gone.

   have you seen what facebook wants to do to the profiles now? zuckerberg needs a timeline of when he gave the ppl what they liked

   A Girl that knows she's beautiful never has to tell people about it.