Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   what can I say? Life doesn't get much better than beer and pancakes after midnight :)

   "Women are such mysterious creatures. Beautiful unsolvable mysteries. Like them big alien crop circles........... but with nipples"

   I like Cee Lo's "Forget You," but it doesn't compare to N.W.A.'s "Forget Tha Police"

   Buying 12 cases of diet soda a week is defeating the purpose of diet soda

   I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

   The statement to th right is true..the statment to the left is false

   As I said before, I never repeat myself.

   We have all been walked on, taken for granted, forgotten, used and abused at some point in our lives. For the strong ones, life goes on, for the weak ones, life goes to waste.

   2.Two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester cheats picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!

   I will never change who I am for anyone. If you cant accept me the way I am, I will find someone else who will.

   I'd rather live my life knowing and accepting that I'm not perfect, rather than spend my whole life pretending to be perfect.

   Hey what's your sign, "Pyrex", ...........I was a test tube baby.:)

   That moment of panic when after talking to someone on your cell phone you go on to badmouth them only to realise you forgot to hang up.

   "There's plenty of fish in the sea", "Well that's cool, but I'm human."

   I hate when I don't forward a chain letter and the next day I die.

   My one and only wish is for all the pretty lesbians to turn straight and all the ugly lesbians to remain lesbians.

   If you want to see the power of a good woman, look at her husband and his success in the world!

   I got first draft in my fantasy foosball team. Once again, my top pick: the plastic dude with the metal rod through his torso.

   Women always say 'all men want is sex' ....that's a lie. They want head too.

   Something is wrong with you - if you are having sex to gospel music.