Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   i hate someone who friend requests me then has the nerve to i.m. me"how do I know u" so I delete them and repy"now you dont know me"

   Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a picture that makes her look fat.

   ■My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.

   Relationships are like math problems. Sometimes you have to take someone out of the equation, put someone else in, and......it's right!

   Replying to a text with "k" not only shows that you're an a**hole, but also shows your a lazy f**k that abbreviates a two letter word.

   I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

   Teacher: You failed the test! Me: You failed to educate me.

   Alright, who else here thinks Combos pretzel snacks look suspiciously like Snausages dog treats?!

   my birthday is everyday thats why I don't do nothing special on my birthday.....its just another day.

   I'm 16 weeks and I'm craving for a facebook game for Men to Confuse the Ladies!!!!

   It's Labor Day weekend and I am still deep in LABOR.......

   waiting for the spider to realize that the magazine she balled up isn't for reading. Oh wait, it just did..

   Tell me then, does love make one a fool or do only fools fall in love?

   Happiness is an attitude, not a task. Stress is a choice, not an option.

   How do you tell a girl you like her? Break into her house and write it on the walls in your own blood. Like any normal person would.

   There's no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.

   thankful for my mistakes for they have been my greatest teachers... Happy Teacher's Day.!!

   Love is Love and Sex is Sex. You don't need to be in love to have sex but you need good sex to stay in love. Some people's sex will make you fall in love.

   I hate it when I have to smile at all the old people I come across just to reassure them that I am not a teenage thug up to no good.

   There are two types of people I hate in this world: Nosey people AND people who won't tell me what the hell is going on in their lives.