Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Thanks you NATO, USA, UK and everyone else who helped us in our fight to oust the Gadhafi the dictator. - LIBYAN PEOPLE

   Twinkle - Twinkle little slut, name one person you havent f*cked!

   Never beg a person for something that someone else is willing to give you.

   I hate it when people who are holding a device capable of using Google ask me stupid questions.

   If being batsh!t crazy was as visible as a nice body some of you hot chicks would get a lot less attention.

   Dear Radio Stations, please do not play Katy Perry's "Friday Night" Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.

   Everybody deserves someone who makes them look forward to tomorrow.

   You're not living life right if you don't get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.

   I don't understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens? If I am trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.

   Today is Compliment Someone Randomly Day. And may I just say that this paper bag would go beautifully with that outfit you're wearing.

   If your girl gives you a "choice" preceded by an option, the option is really your only choice.

   Just once I'd like my girlfriend not to scream when I do my hilarious Stevie Wonder driving a car impression.

   I hate to sound racist, but all Oriental rugs look the same to me.

   Dear whoever is reading this; You are an amazing human being, never forget that.

   Dear Smiley Face, can you take your quote and shove it up where the sun dont smile.

   Aw, this is nice. Today is Be An Angel Day. And they all laughed at me when I said this harp would come in handy one day. Who's laughing now, huh?! So, um, yeah, be excellent to each other today, k?

   When I'm on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."

   My High School Dropout, Knocked Up Your Honor Roll Student...

   Recycling old ones doesn't make them good, or original... AC... and everyone else posting unoriginal stuff. Now run along, before I get deleted for this one, while your recycled crap stays. Cheers :)

   I hope my kid's take God to school with them !!