Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 1858 of 5594

   messageicon Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? It changes your blood type.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 17:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got chased by a mugger the other day trying to steal my wallet. Halfway through the terrifying ordeal, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Wow...He's really giving me a run for my money."
←Rate | 08-11-2011 18:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just seen the new rise of the planet of the apes trailer! it's funny how it's very similar to the London riots! Most expensive publicity stunt ever
←Rate | 08-11-2011 18:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon so.... how soon is too soon to tell a family member you have been usuing there new toothbrush to clean the toilet???
←Rate | 08-11-2011 19:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not bulimic, I just like tasting the same food twice.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 19:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day I change my birthday on Facebook to THAT day just for all the attention.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 19:49 by Steve Kennedy Comments (0)  


   messageicon English fans are so soccer crazy, they are even having pre-season hooliganism riots!
←Rate | 08-11-2011 20:20 by Gama-Ray Comments (0)  


   messageicon If in our righteous endeavors to protect and keep what we love and value, we attack and demoralize those whom peacefully choose a different path, do we become no less than the entity that we are standing against?
←Rate | 08-11-2011 20:49 by SHart Comments (0)  


   messageicon Although preseason football is like non-alcoholic beer, it feels like the lockout added 10% of alcohol content
←Rate | 08-11-2011 21:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Loves deleting my facebook so I can post on my facebook page that I deleted it!
←Rate | 08-11-2011 21:22 by Sondra8200 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig, is a militant feminist that can't cook and won't do as she is told.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 21:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are just Facebook Retarded!
←Rate | 08-11-2011 22:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Updating my status in the car. Don't worry, I'm in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the damn cops.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 22:16 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't hurry love, but you can honk the horn a few times and let it know you're waiting.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 22:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon U know some fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time…” Others begin with “If elected, I promise…”
←Rate | 08-11-2011 22:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon tried to balance the light switch, I should probably go to bed...
←Rate | 08-11-2011 22:19 by MikeM. Comments (0)  


   messageicon A picture is worth a thousand words. Yours just says “slut” a thousand times in a row
←Rate | 08-11-2011 22:21 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage; the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy a license.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 22:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to women: Its not that difficult to put the seat down if its left up.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 23:20 Comments (1)  


   messageicon it just me, or do those Stouffer's French Bread pizzas burn the sh%t out of the roof of your mouth too?
←Rate | 08-12-2011 00:49 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left