Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
SHREK is the best fairytale ever, it gives ugly guys hope and teaches them that you don't always have to be the most handsome to get the girl and live happily ever after. 
Well, I see no one turned up for first day of ninja school… or did they?
The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
Still haven't figured out how to inflate a balloon with farts. Still no way I'm gonna stop trying.
"This pu55y won't eat itself!" "Actually, those leggings are proving otherwise."
People treat you differently when you're holding a baby. Especially in strip clubs.
I get hit on by so many cougar, the discovery channel & Antiques road show offered me my own show called Vintage Gash Hunter
Saying "cool" also means, I don't give a sh!t.
"I don't care if it takes 10 years, a war and trillions of dollars, I will find you." - Me about figuring out who unfriended me on Facebook.
I am so bored I'm logging in and out of facebook for entertainment!
Its a stank fishy smell in the air...the prostitutes must be overheating
told his mum that the screaming coming from the tv was in fact tennis players grunting when hitting the ball...Don't think she fell for it!
have you ever noticed that "lol" looks like some guy frantically waving his hands in the air?
a drinking problem...I can't afford it
A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.
my mother never understood the irony in calling me a "son-of-a-b*tch"
I've just popped down with my floral tribute to Amy Winehouse, last years Xmas tree. It's the perfect tribute, 5 & a half feet, dead & surrounded by needles.
there is a good chance my eyes will be red tomorrow
I have never been a big fan of Mr. Bubble. I find it odd that I'm not allowed to be on a first-name basis with someone who has seen me naked hundreds of times
need to check my wifes license...apparently she changed her name to Princess without telling me
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
